悲伤,丧亲之痛和治疗
什么是悲伤?
Grief is one of the deepest pains we experience. 这是一个正常的适应过程,适应任何失去或不想要的变化的经历. It is always a shock, whether the loss was expected or not.
虽然每个人表达悲伤的方式都是独特的,但这是一种普遍的人类体验. 没有一个爱过别人的人能逃脱失去的痛苦,也没有人能逃脱随之而来的悲伤.
尽管我们生活在一个社会规范集中在“克服它”的时代," grief is a process that deserves our utmost respect. Neither we, nor others, can brush aside, judge or placate away our grief.
If you would like assistance with coping with your grief, please contact the 加州大学旧金山分校社会工作系 at (415) 353-1504 for a referral to speak with someone who can help.
理解你的悲伤
把你的悲伤想象成一段穿越未知土地的旅程,沿途往往很难找到,这是有帮助的. The following are some markers to help you know that, although you are experiencing loss, 你没有“迷路”.“旅途中有一些路标,是其他走过这条路的人放在那里的.
There are no "right" or "wrong" emotions
强烈的情绪是正常的,我们通常会因为经历它们而判断自己. Much depends on the unique relationship you had with the deceased, 失去亲人的环境和我们个人对强烈情感的安慰. 不进行自我批评地接受一切是悲伤的主要挑战之一.
Common emotions include intense feelings of sadness, 愤怒, 恐惧, 绝望, 孤独, 内疚, 怨恨, 救援, 后悔和易怒. 感到麻木、退缩、难以置信和难以集中注意力也是很常见的.
Deep emotional pain is a natural part of the grief process
虽然试图避免与悲伤过程相关的强烈痛苦是可以理解的, feeling and processing all that arises is a necessary part of healing.
Mourning is hard work, often invisible to others
No one else can feel the pain in our hearts, 也不能治愈它, though their support and encouragement can help.
There is no right or wrong time for grieving
亲人的死亡自然会带来情感、身体和精神上的痛苦. Since encountering this pain all at once would be overwhelming, most often we touch into it and out of it, 在剂量. Sometimes we need to distract ourselves; other times, we need to dive into it.
Respect this natural rhythm of grieving. In general, grief is a process that takes longer than anyone expects.
Guilt, real or imagined, is a normal part of grief
Guilt surfaces in thoughts and feelings of "if only.“为了治愈这种内疚,与值得信任的人分享这些感受是最有帮助的. 最终, 我们必须原谅自己在与逝者的关系中失败的任何方式. 这是一个具有挑战性的过程,需要时间和精力,也是释放自己情绪负担的必要十大赌博靠谱网络平台.
Telling one's story is a natural way to process grief
寻找并接受支持我们的人来听我们的故事是成功度过悲伤旅程的关键部分.
我们无法“克服”悲伤
悲伤是一种改变生活的经历,它将继续在我们的生活中回荡. The sense of loss softens, but does not completely disappear. 最终,悲伤会改变我们. 然而, 在意义感和目标感回归之前,通常会有一段极度混乱和痛苦的时期. 在那段时间里, 失去亲人的人可能会觉得没有什么值得活下去的,可能会考虑从这种内心的痛苦中解脱出来. Be assured that the pain will lessen and healing through grief will happen.
丧亲支持小组
丧亲支持小组为你提供了机会,让你讨论自己的经历,并与其他经历过丧亲的人一起了解悲伤. Although most groups are facilitated by trained professionals, 真正的支持来源是那些同样经历悲伤和失落的人.
有时,善意的朋友或家人试图通过不提及死者的名字来保护悲伤者, or by removing reminders of the loss. 这种策略传达的信息是,处理损失的痛苦将是压倒性的. 经常, although friends and family mean well, 他们可能也正在经历损失,或者只是不知道如何以最有帮助的方式“在那里”.
Because of one's extreme sensitivity during a time of loss, others' responses may be disappointing or feel hurtful. 在这种情况下, 有一个安全的地方来表达你的想法和感受是很有帮助的,你知道每个人都会理解和接受你.
When You Might Need Extra Help with Your Grief
有时,失去亲人的自然过程可能会被关闭或偏离轨道. The grieving process can be very tumultuous. 然而, if you are experiencing some of the following symptoms after a few months, they may be indicators that you need extra support:
- Feeling irritable and angry much of the time
- Feeling a sense of numbness or inability to feel sad that doesn't let up
- Feeling very anxious about your own or others' loved ones dying
- Preoccupation with the details surrounding the death
- 自我伤害行为
If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, 请联系您的十大赌博平台排行榜, 护士, 社会工作者或咨询师.
支持孩子
Children suffer grief when someone they know and love dies, although they may express their feelings somewhat differently than adults. Although they may seem relatively unaffected, 他们通过与年龄相适应的游戏和对话来处理自己的感受. The child's age determines the degree of understanding she or he will have, 成年人需要修改他们的解释和支持,以满足孩子的发展成熟.
孩子们感到被大人的经历遗忘是很常见的, 因此,需要做出特别的努力,帮助他们找到适合他们年龄的方式来十大赌博靠谱网络平台与死亡有关的活动. 给心爱的人写一封信, 画画, participating in the funeral or memorial service, or sharing stories and tears with others who are also grieving, helps them feel included and supports their healing. 准备好回答有关死亡的问题,以及所爱的人去世后会发生什么.
支持儿童的方法
The following are a few ways to support children during the grieving process:
- Offer physical closeness, comfort and reassurance.
- Talk about special memories and relationships with the deceased.
- Read books about grief, look through photo albums together.
- 承认并确认你的感受.
- 谈谈你家庭关于生、死和来世的种族或信仰传统.
- 要有耐心.
- Know that it's alright not to have all the answers. Children need adults to contemplate with them on important matters.
Helping Children with Funerals and Memorials
允许孩子和青少年向死去的人说再见是他们悲伤过程的重要组成部分. 参加一项服务将向孩子们展示他们所爱的人对别人有多重要, and will let them know that it is okay to grieve.
仪式前, it is helpful to let children know what to expect: What is going to happen, 谁会在那里, when and where it will take place and why it's important. Let children's questions and natural curiosity guide the discussion. 如果你也在悲伤, 在葬礼或追悼会期间,指派另一个成年人分担观察和支持孩子的责任是有帮助的.
Some children may wish to participate in the service. 丧亲的孩子们在葬礼上分享一段美好的回忆或朗诵一首特别的诗,他们会觉得自己的感受很重要. 害羞或年幼的孩子可以通过点燃蜡烛或在棺材或祭坛上放置一些特别的东西来十大赌博靠谱网络平台. Depending on age and emotional maturity, children can also help pick out the casket, select clothing or jewelry for a loved one to wear, 或者选择歌曲, 仪式上的音乐或读物.
Should children choose not to participate, 例如,邀请他们创造自己的告别仪式或活动, lighting a candle or planting a special flower or tree.
更多的信息
加州大学旧金山分校健康 medical specialists have reviewed this information. 它仅用于教育目的,并不打算取代您的十大赌博平台排行榜或其他医疗保健提供者的建议. 我们鼓励您与您的供应商讨论您可能遇到的任何问题或疑虑.